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Sermon: Divorce & Remarriage
By M. John
Allen
Before I get into today’s
message, I would like to note that there have been a couple of updates to the
website this past week. The first one is no longer part of the main website
per se, because it is now on my personal homepage, but it is still linked
through the Real Truth area. I am referring to the newsroom, and there are
lots of good, new stories there that I uploaded on the 25th.
The other update is more
profound, and that is my latest coworker letter. It discusses a problem that
the church at large must settle if it is to continue being used by God. I
suggest you read the letter after this message. Also, feel free to request
the tape offered, as I recorded a sermon last Sabbath that is best heard, not
read.
The issues of divorce and
remarriage have been very complicated and problematic through the years for
God’s church because they seem so complex. I wrote much on this in the first
edition of my book, The Restoration of Truth, and I am now revising
this book. However, I found that my section on the divorce and remarriage
issue had been edited out of the second edition, so now I have to approach
this issue fresh. This is very important, because many people remain confused
on this today, and when I am asked for advice, it is difficult to answer them
without a thorough study. This is one area that requires deep thinking and
research and understanding of what the scriptures really
say, and not just a snap conclusion.
So, because it will be so long
until it is back in my book, I present this sermon today as my latest
understanding on this subject.
People misunderstand what the
Bible is really saying about divorce and remarriage because they
misunderstand the application of God’s Law in their lives. I therefore would
urge you to review what has been said about the Law previously, especially if
you are having difficulty with the brief discussion I am now going to make on
this issue.
Humanly, we don’t seem to be
able to understand God or His Laws very well. People generally fall into two
ditches: legalism and licentiousness.
The Pharisees were the perfect
example of the legalists. Their error was that they somehow believed that
obedience to the law somehow EARNED them their salvation. They thought that
God was like some big Scorekeeper in the sky with a little black book, and
that God would write down a little black checkmark by your name every time
you sinned. Forgiveness was a concept foreign to them. Sure, they knew that
our sins were somehow covered by the blood on the Day of Atonement, but
somehow that forgiveness was suspect. In practice, they acted as though God
somehow never forgave or forgot. If you accumulated enough of these black
marks, He would throw you out.
This kind of thinking leads to
all kinds of torturous and wrong thinking. It led to the Talmud, where the
Pharisees wrote down thousands of do’s and don’ts for the Sabbath alone. They
took strict Sabbath observance to ridiculous proportions, saying that you
couldn’t even go to the work of swatting a gnat on the Sabbath unless it bit
you!
This type of thinking leads and
has led, historically, to all kinds of twistings
and perversions that take us well beyond God’s intent for the Law. One of the
main themes of Christ’s ministry was to show how ridiculous all of these
rules and regulations were. He came and He swept away this stupidity, and
attempted to show mankind what the ORIGINAL MEANING and intent behind the Law
was. It succeeded partially for a while, but today we have a new crop of
Pharisees in our midst, who attempt to strangle us
anew with rules and regulations that spring only from the wicked imaginations
of human hearts. Since the human mind is enmity with God, every time we stray
beyond God’s real intent for the commandments, we have a real
mess.
Unfortunately, incomplete
understanding and Pharisaic thinking have afflicted God’s own church, and in
no area moreso than in the area of divorce and
remarriage.
But before we continue, I want
to point out one more thing about Pharisees: in
their minds, any pleasure or a desire for pleasure is equated with sin. This
derives from the thinking of asceticism which says that fleshly pleasure is
against the soul, and therefore wrong. This is dualistic, pagan thinking. God
created our bodies to experience certain pleasure. As long as these pleasures
are engaged properly, and not abused, then they are beautiful and fine and
what God intended.
Asceticism is a large component
of Catholic and Calvinistic thought, and as such, it permeates our entire
society more than we care to realize. For instance, we say a piece of cake is “sinfully
delicious.” This reflects a learned feeling of guilt over enjoying something really
nice or good. This is wrong thinking, and we should strive, with God’s help,
to eradicate it from our thinking.
But, humans would not be humans
if they also didn’t fall into the other ditch, which is hedonism. Hedonism
probably reached its height during the ancient Roman world. There were temple
prostitutes then, and part of the religious experience was to go in and have
sex with them. Another excess was the Roman banquets and orgies, during which
they overate to such an extent that they threw up their food so that they
could eat more! God intended our bodies to experience pleasure, but to abuse
ourselves this way was not His intent either.
So, here we have the two
extremes of human nature. One extreme leads to complete self denial, as well
as wacky ideas such as the sacred names heresies (I may take this up next
time, God willing). The other extreme led to all kinds of perversions within
the Corinthian church, such as a man sleeping with his own mother, who was
little else than a whore. We, as God’s people, should strive to see God’s
balance on these issues.
We must understand one other
thing before we begin. God never denies us anything that is truly good or
beneficial for us. He wants us to have good things in abundance. Self denial concerning
something God intends us to enjoy is only vanity, and doesn’t win us any more
favor with Him. But what God tells us not to do is for our own good. He
doesn’t want us to suffer, so He tells us to avoid things that cause
suffering to ourselves or to others, or that would interfere with our
incredible human potential. This is viewing the Law in a positive rather than
in a negative way.
It’s like the Law is a pair of
glasses that allows our vision to be corrected to see the world and our lives
the way God does. Naturally, our vision is not the same a God’s, so He has
given us these special glasses so that we can see things in the right way.
So, rather than being like some
whip to hit us with, the Law is more like a road sign, pointing out the way
to eternal life. Rather than punishment for what is bad, it is a guide to
show us the right way. God forgives us when we stray from the PATH set by the
Law, as long was we set our feet back on the path again. To deliberately
stray from the path (not through weakness or deception, but in full knowledge
that we are going the wrong way) is to show God that we are opposed to His
Plan of Salvation and His purpose for mankind, and so such a deliberate
action shows we are hostile to God and His way. He cannot accept this
attitude unless it is changed, and so this is the unpardonable sin. I hope we
in God’s church understand this.
If people really
understand these principles, they will stop looking at every picky little
thing, wondering if it is wrong, and will strive to obey God in their daily
lives and receive forgiveness for when they fail.
No issue is more sensitive than
that of divorce and remarriage, and no issue has been more misunderstood in
the church.
One more item we must understand
before we get into this subject in earnest is the matter of the family. We
come from a world twisted by almost two thousand years of Roman Catholic
heresy to one degree or another. As one studies the subject, they realize
that the Catholics HAVE ALMOST NOTHING RIGHT ! They
misunderstand, misinterpret, and twist almost everything in the Bible. They
have done this without he family as well.
In the ancient world, we did not
have the nuclear family. We had huge extended families headed by its
patriarch. It is true that most of each family lived in very close proximity
to each other. They shared work together, food, clothing, and shelter. Things
were pretty much held in common by the family.
Another thing that we have
forgotten is the fact that God permitted polygamy since almost the dawn of
time. God says that this was not His original intent, but He knew the nature
of man, how he lusts after more than one woman, so He permitted it. If a man
came across another woman he could not resist, it was better to marry her
than to commit adultery.
We must also understand that
there is a difference between adultery and fornication. Adultery is when a
married man and a married woman sleep together, and it carried the death
penalty. Fornication, on the other hand, did not. If a married or unmarried man
slept with an unmarried woman, he was obliged to MARRY HER, but the death
penalty was not imposed. Thus, it is obvious that fornication is not on the
same level as adultery. The commandment also says “Thou shalt
not commit adultery,” it does not say fornication. It does not mean
fornication is right, but it is not the same kind of sin because it does not
break the sacred marriage vows. The penalty is that the couple must get
married. This applies even if the man is married, you must understand! I realize
that some of this discussion will be hard for people to understand and accept
because of centuries of Roman Catholic conditioning. But, in order to
understand God’s purpose for HIS FAMILY, we must discover what kind of family
He was referring to in t he scriptures.
I also know that much of this is
discussed in my book, but I may even revise one or two of the chapters I have
already revised to put this understanding back in.
It is important at this point to
also take notice of one other point. One must undestand
just how terrible divorce was for a woman. If a man divorced his wife because
she displeased him (something permitted under Moses [Deut. 24:1]), Moses
permitted the man to write up a bill of divorce and send her on her way.
Generally, the only place she could go was back to her father’s house in
shame. If he refused to accept her, which was his legal right, then she had
no family. What this meant for such a woman was an almost certain sentence of
death. No other man would want to marry a divorced woman, and since the
entire economy was based on the extended family, she could only hope for
marginalization or death. I have no doubt that many such women became
prostitutes to survive. When a man married a woman it carried an obligation
of support. Divorce is throwing away this obligation to the woman’s detriment
and possible death. A man infused with the love of God would not have done
this to a woman, but he also would not have had to live a life of celebacy or have sex with a woman who no longer “pleased”
him, as the Bible says. If man was perfect, thne
neither polygamy nor divorce would have been permitted or “necessary.” But he
wasn’t, so God, out of mercy, created a couple of exceptions not a part of
His orignial intent.
I want you to read Mk. 10:2-12.
In this passage, Christ reminds humanity of God’s original intent in the
commandments, something which a carnal people had not been able, and are
still not able to accept. We must remember that this is an ideal that will
probably be achieved in the Millennium, not today among carnal people. I hope
and pray that God’s people can reach this ideal, but I fear that will not be
possible.
Now read I Cor.
7:10-16. While on the surface this passage seems to repeat what Christ
said in Mark, it does not. While Christ
said it was not God’s intent that any should divorce at all, Paul grudgingly
accepts a circumstance where this can occur! We must also remember that God
is the same yesterday, today, and forever, so the question arises, if God
doesn’t change, then how can the two rules cited above change? It looks like
one set of rules operated under Moses and then Christ
cam along and established a tougher set, because the law was now spiritual,
to be observed in its INTENT, and not just its letter! This, by the way, is the
opposite of the antilaw lasciviousness of
Protestants and Catholics, but if you read the Gospels and the sayings of Christ,
the conclusion is inescapable. Christ dealt with
the intent of the heart, not just the physical act!
There is one item missing,
though, from our equation so far. That item can be found by reading Matt.
12:1-8. this is really
the key to the whole puzzle of our relationship to God, and we must
understand it properly. It is wrong to ignore it and it is wrong to abuse it,
and carnal minded people do both!
There are two vital points here
I don’t want you to miss. In verse 5 Jesus makes the startling statement that
the priests defile the Sabbath! How can this be true?
The Sabbath is one of the Ten
Commandments, but was also a law from t he beginning. In the Mosaic system,
though, the Ten Commandments were the supreme law and the ritualistic and
other statutes and ordinances were a secondary law. Yet, the Mosaic system
imposed SACRIFICES on the Sabbath (something not required before Moses]. By
imposing sacrifices on the Sabbaths, the priests were violating the Law of
the Sabbath which said not to work on the Sabbath. Sacrificing sheep, goats,
and cattle was VERY HARD WORK! In fact, the priest’s workload was PROBABLY
THE GREATEST ON THE WEEKLY SABBATH AND THE HOLY DAYS! The same is true of
God’s ministers today. their workload is highest on
the Sabbath, God’s commanded day of rest!
So here you have an apparent
contradiction. For those legalists who think that the law has NO EXCEPTIONS,
this creates an unsolvable problem, because the INFERIOR LAW OF SACRIFICES
APPEARS TO SET ASIDE, OR MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR THE SUPERIOR LAW OF THE
DECALOGUE! this is a direct contradiction to those
who argue that God’s commandments have ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS, because here
is a WEEKLY EXCEPTION, and yet it is engaged in without sin being imputed!
Christ also mentioned in this same passage the incident of
David with the showbread. it was ABSOLUTELY
FORBIDDEN for any but the priests to eat the showbread. It was for them. Yet
David and his men violated this because they were hungry. A Pharisee would
have said that they should have obeyed the command, went hungry, and God
would have provided. But they didn’t do this. They reached out and took what
was not lawful, so one could even say they were guilty of THEFT! yet GOD IMPUTED NO SIN FOR THIS! It is incomprehensible to
a legalistic Pharisee, because the Pharisee will simply say that if we obey
the letter of the law, then God will provide. Yet it is obvious that God doesn’t
think this way. And to claim that the Apostle Paul introduced this thinking,
or even Christ Himself in His earthly ministry, will also be disprove
in a minute.
In verse 7, Christ
makes the cryptic statement that if the people had understood what the prophet
Micah said, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice,” then they would understand
how these law breakers were not only getting off the hook, so to speak, BUT
WERE GUILTLESS BEFORE GOD!
Read now Mic.
6:6-8. After you have read the context, let me know highlight verse 8 because
it is very important to our understanding: “he has shown you, O man, what is
good, and what does the Eternal require of you but to do justly, to love
mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” I don’t think Paul ever stated this
principle better, did he? Nor did Christ,
in incident after incident, like when the woman was taken in the act of
adultery and could have been stoned on the spot. Time after time, we see God
showing mercy to people who have sinned or fallen short [which is all that
sin really is] of God’s expectations. This doesn’t mean we ABUSE
God’s mercy by purposely or systematically disobeying His law. But this shows
that God is not some Pharisaic monster waiting to pounce and punish any
slight infringement either. God just doesn’t think like that, and neither
should we.
Read now Lk.
13:10-17. This shows again God’s attitude contrasted with the Pharisees.
Those who have been around the church a while have certainly heard arguments
like the Pharisees presented here! Now, go across the page and read Lk. 14:1-6. Jesus here shows us the same example in
slightly different words in hopes that we will understand. Unfortunately,
Pharisees never do, and libertines take the exceptions and try to make THEM the
rules!
I must admit that to an
unconverted mind, this whole situation seems confusing. In the example of
divorce and remarriage, you have Christ
making the law MORE BINDING by returning to the original intent or the spirit
of the law. In another situation you have Christ
condoning what looks like BLATANT violations of the law. Where is the sense
of this.
Well, Christ
stated it Himself when He said “I desire mercy and not sacrifice.” He stated
it anciently through he prophet Micah and others for the whole world to hear,
but the Pharisees weren’t listening then, and they aren’t today.
Last week in my taped sermon,
which I hope most of you write for, or listen to when it will hopefully be on
the web for listening, I concentrated a lot on a chapter from the book of
James that showed where our fights as a church and as people come from. that section covered most of the causes, but there is
still a dimension missing that we are talking about today.
Pharisees do not understand that
the Law is not a whip, but is rather a guide. Therefore, in fear [because
fear is the only real emotion a Pharisee has, as opposed to the LOVE that God
wants to full us with], the Pharisee asks himself worried questions all the
time as to whether this thing or that thing is right to do, especially when
the law is not specific on this exact point. The Pharisee then interprets the
law in the most restrictive fashion possible, hoping thereby to avoid God’s
wrath for sinning.
This thinking is backwards
because it shows the law in the wrong light and it also shows God in the
wrong light. It turns a merciful, loving, forgiving Creator and Father into a
vengeful monster, ready to smash sinners the instant they get out of line!
Further, what this attitude does
doctrinally is it causes division and separation. No two people interpret
anything in exactly the same way. And, unfortunately, there are a few places
in the Bible where the exact truth is virtually impossible to discover. let me illustrate.
Try as you might, for example,
it seems that it is IMPOSSIBLE to determine when the original Passover was
observed. As one goes through he “proof texts,” the issue becomes a little
hazy, except of course for the extreme Pharisee who forces the issue. I have
not even resolved this dilemma completely for myself. However, I do understand
that on the night when He was betrayed, Christ
instituted THE LORD’S SUPPER, which is very much like the Passover, except
with New Testament elements added (I will have more to say on the Passover
issue on a later date). It is obvious, then, that Christ
gives a direct command about what to do on a specific date that IS provable.
Therefore, all the petty arguments are rendered null and void.
An even thornier issue is that
of when to observe Pentecost. Unknown to most people, the Worldwide church
and its offshoots for years have observed what they call the Passover (really
the Lord’s Supper now) and Pentecost on dates set by the heretical SADDUCCEES
of Christ’s time! The Sadducees were such blind guides that they
didn’t even believe in a resurrection, angels, etc. The Phairsees,
on the other hand, for al of their faults, were VERY CAREFUL to observe what
they thought they understood, and they set the dates for these observances at
times now observed by most modern Jews, which are at variance
with the dates set by the Sadduccees. So the
question arises, why did God’s church over the years follow the heretical Sadduccees in such things? It doesn’t seem logical until
you study it, and then it APPEARS that they were right, and the Pharisees
were wrong.
yet, this CONTRADICTS what the church also said about the
Jews being in charge of the oracles of God. Then, you bring up the calendar
issue and all hell breaks loose, because this same church that REJECTS the
Jewish interpretation of when to observe two important observances turns
right around and ACCEPTS the Hillel calendar that
those same Jews use today, which was a calendar imposed if memory serves, in
the SECOND CENTURY AD, and was therefore NOT THE CALENDAR OF CHRIST AND THE
APOSTLES!
Confusing, isn’t it, especially
in light of the fact that these issues cannot be CONCLUSIVELY SETTLED from th e pages of the Bible. What is one to do?
A year or so ago in a sermon,
Mr. Ronald Dart told us at least a partial answer to this
dilemma. And recently he has stated a similar principal in a slightly
different way. Mr. Dart admitted that these issues can’t be conclusively
proven one way or another today from the Bible alone. but, he also said that
we should put together what we think is right, using the strongest evidence
possible, and then make a decision and then God would back that decision. If
He didn’t like it, He could reveal more to us later to set us right. The
message was NOT TO WORRY about petty, controversial details, which comes
right back to what Christ said about “I desire mercy and not sacrifice.” God
expects us to do the best that we can, and with God that is enough and we
shouldn’t worry about little loose ends lying around. It reminds me of the
saying that “the devil is in the details.” Sometimes,
he certainly is!
Another thing Mr. Dart has
repeatedly said is that it is important for us to understand in this context
is the observation that petty doctrinal disputes about ARGUABLE, UNPROVABLE
POINTS from the Bible as noted above SERVE ONLY TO CAUSE DIVISION! Such “vain
disputes” and straining after gnats while swallowing doctrinal camels like a
Pharisee is the recipe that has cooked up our current divisions. Some have
even gotten so bold as to say if you use the wrong calendar and observe
Passover or Pentecost on the “wrong day” [according to them], that is a sing
that you are not part of God’s one true church. Such statements are pure,
unadulterated hogwash. The same can be said for other controversial issues
such as tithing. These petty technical arguments get us nowhere and lead to
division.
These arguments and disputes are
exaclty like the divorce and remarriage issue. I
believe you can see that by now. If you have messed up your life in the past,
and maybe had one, two, three or more divorces before you came into God’s
church [and sometimes even in God’s church], I think you can see that it is
NOT God’s intent that you should strain at doctrinal gnats at this point in
your life. You understand now that Christ’s
blood can BLOT OUT ANY SIN OF THE PAST, and that He
is MERCIFUL to forgive our past sins. What therefore the blood of Christ
has covered, how dare mere MORTAL MAN hold against you?
But it is in issues like this
where human nature wants to get abusive and try and turn grace into license.
Some people think it’s OK to just hop from one husband or wife to another
with no consequences. This is not true and God is not mocked! If we really
HAVEN’T REPENTED of our past sins, then they are still there, uncovered!
Repent means not only to be sorry, and ask for forgiveness, but to CHANGE the
way our life is going from the direction of SIN to the direction of God’s
righteousness. God says He hates divorce. We should honor that! We ignore
this statement to our peril.
I think prospective second or
third husbands or wives should consider their proposed future spouse very
carefully before marrying them. Failure in marriage is a serious problem, and
one would do well to remember that there are two sides to every story. Your
proposed mate might have some problems that will ONLY become apparent once
the ring goes on the finger! One should not be so blinded by what one thinks
is “love” that they become this person’s next mistake!
Legallistically speaking, this issue is more concern for the woman than
to the man because the man was permitted to have more than one wife, and
therefore could be bound to more than one woman at a time! But I think we
have learned not to look at these things in a legalistic way, and to
understand more of God’s intent on these matters.
Divorce is a horrible sin. Ideally,
if someone hasn’t made their first marriage work, it should be wrong to risk
another person as your next experiment. However, if you have truly repented,
had an unconverted mate, etc., then it is possible to remarry within God’s
church. It is also good to remember that some in the ancient congregation of Corinth took this information about God’s forgiveness, and
turned it into license to engage in all kinds of sins. God did not approve of
this then, and He doesn’t now.
So, if you are sincere, have
truly CHANGED YOUR LIFE, and put it into God’s hands, then He CAN forgive you
your sins and set them aside, giving you another chance to make life work.
But please NEVER turn God’s grace into license. Remember that this IS an ox
in the ditch. You are not to PUSH the ox into the ditch just to suit
yourself. God would see through this deceit. God is not mocked, but would
repay such sin.
I realize
that some will vehemently disagree with this message. It is my prayer,
though, that for a majority of God’s people it will be a message of joy,
hope, and understanding of how God thinks and looks at things. Understanding
more perfectly the mind of God in matters such as this will do a lot to
restore unity to God’s church. The way of the Pharisee creates division. The
way of God is the road to unity in Christ!
Have a joyful and refreshing
Sabbath!
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